auntieant
Tiger
Joined: 11 Oct 2008
Posts: 189
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 Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 5:30 am Post subject: BS2 beats in a 15-page script - SURFIN' WITH SHARKS |
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Was hoping to get your views about short-form films, specifically, how to best utilise the BS2 to help write one. All stories have beginning, middles and ends, so why not? Can beats merge? Or is shoehorning a 15-page story into the BS2 a step too far?
I am attending a gathering in Birmingham in a couple of weeks where a number of writers, producers, directors and grant-giving bodies will be attending and I was looking back on a couple of shorts I wrote at uni, thinking I may take them along. They’re terrible.
The only one with any real merit was about a guy (dying of an incurable disease, which is what most students seem to think is “dramatic”; God, what an arse) who wanted to die on his own terms (original, right?). He’s a surfer, a daredevil, and environmentalist. So how better to go out than riding a big wave in shark-infested water, doing what he loves AND feeding an endangered species? He meets someone, falls in love, and basically persuades her that he is right, she agrees, and he meets his end on his own terms in a wonderfully emotional ending (yeah, right). His conscious desire wins out, has no subconscious need, and overall it’s a pretty depressing and gruesome script.
Like I said, terrible, right?
But here I go, I like the guy, the character, which is probably that little sliver or merit I mentioned. He even saves a cat (well, a cockroach) before I even learned that beat, and now I think about subconscious needs, etc, I came up with this:
SURFIN' WITH SHARKS
A clinically depressed extreme sports enthusiast travels to South Africa in order to provoke and survive a shark attack, but upon meeting [someone/something] he begins to experience feelings he never thought would return.
Okay, needs work, more of a setup than a logline, but the basic elements are nearly there:
Conscious desire – to survive a shark attack.
Subconscious need – to FEEL something without blowing adrenaline levels through the roof.
Probably play it out as a dramedy. In STC terms, I see it as either a ROP or buddy-love. I don’t really have an antagonist in mind yet, but thought it would be a friend of his or a guy he’s paid to help him find sharks to surf with, or something abstract like “his guilt”, but that feels like a student film again.
Essentially, shorts are 15-20 pages long (shouldn’t be more than 15 really), and a couple are a bit arty, and my earlier efforts have maybe 2 acts (the inciting incident doubles as break into 2 AND midpoint) when there should be 3.
So I fed the 15 pages into the BS2 calculator and here we go:
http://www.rareform.com/screenplay-editor/beats.php
Opening Image: pg 1
Establish Theme: pgs 1 - 1
Setup: pgs 1 - 1
Inciting Incident: 2
Debate - Half Commitment: pgs 2 - 3
Turn to Act II: 3
Subplot intro by: pg 4
Fun - Games - Puzzles: pgs 4 - 7
Tentpole - Midpoint - Reversal: pg 7
Enemy Closes In: pgs 7 - 10
Low Point: pg 10
Darkest Decision: pgs 10 - 12
Turn to Act III: pg 12
Finale - Confrontation: pgs 12 - 15
Aftermath: pgs 15 - 15
Final Image: pg 15
Also, any advice re the Board? I worked out a card to page-count ratio, which is this:
110 pages 110
No. cards 40
Proportion 2.75
No. pages 15
No. cards 5.5
So with 16 beats and only 5.5 sequences allowed, it’s kinda hard. Was thinking about beating out the story on 16 cards, but then condensing them into 5-6 cards. Breaking down like so:
Sequence #1: Opening, setup, theme stated, ends with Inciting incident.
#2 Debate, break into 2 and B-story
#3 Fun and games to the mid point
#4 Bad guys close in, up to all is lost
#5 Dark night of the soul up to and including break into 3
#6 Final, aftermath and final image.
Sorry for the long post. I’m really after practical advice on structure more than specifics about the logline.
The logline will undoubtedly change, if I use it, so it’s more of an exercise tool than an attempt to create something from it.
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