Buddy Love - "Whirlwind Romance"

AndrewMichaelPalmer · Leopard Joined: 24 Aug 2012 Posts: 28 Location: Toronto

In WW2 a British RAF woman marries a Canadian pilot, but after the birth of her son is forced to choose between England or family.

or

A withdrawn woman joins the RAF in WW2, but after a whirlwind romance is forced to move to Canada or lose her family.

--Based on a true story, about the hardships faced by British war-brides when they were forced to leave their home countries after wedding Canadians.

not sure if this is a Buddy Love? Rite of passage? Golden Fleece?

basic story is this:
withdrawn independent woman is swept off her feet by a foreign pilot, and after a 3 weeks gets married. But after the birth of her son, she is then forced to move to Canada (alone) and live with her in-laws, in an unwelcoming country she can't stand. After the war, she escapes back to England with her children, only to find her home country worse off than before. Finally moves back to canada with her parents, and reunites with her husband

Mike Rinaldi · Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2012 1:27 pm Post subject:

The first logline is the better of the two.

_________________
The Slusho's gone? Why is all the Slusho gone?

RobbRoss · Siberian Tiger Joined: 04 Jan 2012 Posts: 334

Interesting in general, I'm just not yet hooked by anything.

The word "forced" may be misleading because the woman moving to her husband's country is simply a common occurence, not a matter of being forced. Or is something missing from the equation?

I also don't see how hard life could have been in Canada. Canada was part of the Commonwealth then (still is) and followed many British laws and customs. The Canadian way of life and Canadian sensibilities were similar to the English ways. Except for the cold in the winter, Canada was one of the best countries she could have gone to! That she was away from her family, basically homesick, is not a strong enough issue. So what exactly do you see as the "hardships"?

Maybe this can be resolved easily by mentioning she's from London- big city- and goes to a tiny farm town in Canada or some other small town way up north. That's the kind of polar-opposite lives that brings the story to life.

texttussi · Cat Joined: 01 Sep 2012 Posts: 17 Location: Germany

I think your story could use a bit more conflict. Why does she hate being in Canada? Perhaps her in-laws don't accept her, because they wanted their son to marry the neighbor's daughter? Or perhaps one of her parents gets seriously ill and she would love to be home with them but can't afford to go back?

Also, I'm asking myself why she didn't think through the consequences before marrying. Why didn't she know that people would expect her to live in Canada with her in-laws? I'm sure you can think of something to make this plausible.
At the moment, your story is a chain of events (she marries, then she goes to Canada, then comes back, then reunites with her husband). What I'm missing is the motivation behind all this. What is the theme, what does she learn, how is she different in the end than in the beginning? I think that when you have answers to this, you can come up with a more gripping logline. I think the idea is well worth it.

AndrewMichaelPalmer · Leopard Joined: 24 Aug 2012 Posts: 28 Location: Toronto

Thanks for your input!

Actually, after interviewing my grandmother she was forced by the military to move to Canada, because she was an officer's pregnant wife and London was under attack.

With respect to Canada, on her account they were as welcoming as New Yorkers were to Irish in the 1800's. The English war brides were pelted with food getting off the boat (for stealing the Canadian men) and signs posted throughout Toronto said "English need not apply."

But I like your idea about moving from the city to a small farm, in reality she did not like her in-laws who she considered dirty -they smoked (no one in London did) and lived in a dirty neighborhood - according to her.

As for moving back home, London was all but destroyed so her whole family followed her back to Canada. Times were tough.

AndrewMichaelPalmer · Leopard Joined: 24 Aug 2012 Posts: 28 Location: Toronto

Hey thanks for your input!

I can understand what you mean by adding more conflict. I will think about how to reflect it in the logline.

RobbRoss · Siberian Tiger Joined: 04 Jan 2012 Posts: 334

These are surprising details so consider incorporating that backdrop into the logline. Example:

The little-known story of the discrimination faced by 1940s British war brides in Canada; (then a shorter version of the log you have now).

In a version of the log like this, try to exclude the detail of the woman being forced so as to avoid confusion and maintain a focus.

AndrewMichaelPalmer · Leopard Joined: 24 Aug 2012 Posts: 28 Location: Toronto

Great thanks

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