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William
Tiger
Joined: 28 Feb 2009
Posts: 169
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 Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 12:07 am Post subject: Formatting and Style of Silences... |
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OK, boring question...
Some writers seem to use an elipse ...
Some writers seem to prefer (beat) references
Example :
HUSBAND
Are you having an affair?
WIFE
...He's just a friend.
OR
HUSBAND
Are you having an affair?
WIFE
(a beat)
He's just a friend.
----------------------
I am trying to isolate the difference here..it seems to be a matter of taste for the most part...
I see the -- used as well, but that seems to be used more as a redirect or cut off of a thought being expressed rather than a silence.
Just not sure when to use ... and when to use (beat) s.
Any help? Or have i bored you to tears?
(a beat)
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Blueberries
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Joined: 03 Mar 2009
Posts: 119
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| Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 8:06 am Post subject: |
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Ok, boring answer...
"..." is not enough to convey a genuine silent moment. Generally I try to avoid "beat" cause it's a technical term which only marks the silence; it doesn't make the reader feel it. I usually convey the silence using a block of description.
HUSBAND
Are you having an affair?
They exchange a glance... Wife smiles uneasily.
WIFE
He's just a friend.
OR
HUSBAND
Are you having an affair?
She stares at him, gape--jawed.
WIFE
He's just a friend.
OR
HUSBAND
Are you having an affair?
She doesn't seem surprised. Shoots him a defiant, wanton look.
WIFE
I'm a slut. You knew that when you married me.
Hope that helps.
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There's no sex in my violence!
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Glenn
Cougar
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Posts: 54
Location: Woodland Hills, CA
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| Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 11:36 am Post subject: |
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| I use both the ellipsis and brief verbal descriptions (though not always at the same time, usually) like Blueberries has shown us. I never use "BEAT," as I feel it's intrusive to the reading and just gets plain annoying after a while. It's a stylistic choice, of course.
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crazrick
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Joined: 28 Mar 2008
Posts: 655
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| Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 1:07 pm Post subject: |
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ultimately, the production people and actors will make final judgments when and whre to include breaks and pauses in dialogue, so your first/only job is to make the words on the page compelling every time.
I'd use action line to compel, as in Blueberries' examples; you can indicate anger, playfulness, indifference, etc... whatever range of emotion you want to contrast and build thru the scene.
| Code: | HE
Are you f-ing around?
she rolls her eyes, all coy.
SHE
Why do you think I did that?
He reveals her torn thong and used condom... and it's a Magnum.
HE
Finally cleaned under the treadmill...
Neither one belongs to me.
SHE
Of course not...
She snatches at the thong.
SHE
Why do you think I did that?
He splats her with the condom.
HE
WHORE! |
so he starts angry, she's coy; he flips to passive-aggressive surrender, she gets defensive and insulting, she attacks, he reacts, she reveals the truth, he gets back to anger and ends the scene.
stuff like that, the punctuation barely matters, right?
this is a quick/bad example, but maybe helps...
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Blueberries
Tiger
Joined: 03 Mar 2009
Posts: 119
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| Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 3:32 pm Post subject: |
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Lol, that's a terrific example.
Cheating wives, thongs, Magnum condoms... We certainly un-bored the heck out of this topic, didn't we!
(One of these days we should all get together and write a Shannon Tweed movie.)
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There's no sex in my violence!
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Mike Rinaldi
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Joined: 19 Nov 2007
Posts: 1810
Location: California
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| Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 8:34 pm Post subject: |
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| One of the newer trends of the last couple years is to drop the (beat). I do exactly what Blueberries and Rick did in their excellent examples. Convey the silence with description. Describe nervous fidgeting, the expression on the other person's face, tapping of a cigarette as ashes float away in the breeze, etc.
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auntieant
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Joined: 11 Oct 2008
Posts: 189
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| Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 9:18 am Post subject: |
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| Of the "experienced writer" scripts, they use (beat) and other parentheticals in ways a lot of the beginner writer books tell you not to. I don't know if this is a changing trend in Hollywood and it's a slightly older generation that do this. I guess when you have a few scripts under your belt you can break a few rules like that.
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writingmama
Bengal Tiger
Joined: 13 Aug 2008
Posts: 211
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| Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 11:51 am Post subject: |
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| crazrick wrote: | ultimately, the production people and actors will make final judgments when and whre to include breaks and pauses in dialogue, so your first/only job is to make the words on the page compelling every time.
I'd use action line to compel, as in Blueberries' examples; you can indicate anger, playfulness, indifference, etc... whatever range of emotion you want to contrast and build thru the scene.
| Code: | HE
Are you f-ing around?
she rolls her eyes, all coy.
SHE
Why do you think I did that?
He reveals her torn thong and used condom... and it's a Magnum.
HE
Finally cleaned under the treadmill...
Neither one belongs to me.
SHE
Of course not...
She snatches at the thong.
SHE
Why do you think I did that?
He splats her with the condom.
HE
WHORE! |
so he starts angry, she's coy; he flips to passive-aggressive surrender, she gets defensive and insulting, she attacks, he reacts, she reveals the truth, he gets back to anger and ends the scene.
stuff like that, the punctuation barely matters, right?
this is a quick/bad example, but maybe helps... |
 This is too funny, Rick ----
and a great example!
I had questions about using "beat", too and all of this info helps!
Thanks AMAZING CATS, All!
Hug!
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banditcameraman
Tiger
Joined: 17 Apr 2008
Posts: 115
Location: Marikina, Philippines
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| Posted: Fri Jul 10, 2009 8:05 am Post subject: |
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| Mike Rinaldi wrote: | | I do exactly what Blueberries and Rick did in their excellent examples. Convey the silence with description. Describe nervous fidgeting, the expression on the other person's face, tapping of a cigarette as ashes float away in the breeze, etc. |
I'm with Mike on this.
How NOT to Write a Screenplay http://www.amazon.com/How-Not-Write-Screenplay-Screenwriters/dp/1580650155 suggests an elipse for a telephone scene where we only hear one side of the conversation, to indicate that the speaker is listening.
Hope this helps!
Best,
Jaime
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