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quade
Tiger
Joined: 12 Jun 2009
Posts: 198
Location: South of the 605
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gc_bevan
Siberian Tiger
Joined: 11 Feb 2009
Posts: 403
Location: Canyon Country, CA
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 Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 4:54 pm Post subject: |
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Your idea has real potential, as I often imagine dire punishments for online spammers and virus makers. That's your hook, and its a good one!
To juice up the logline, pick a more specific antagonist than the whole world. Maybe he kicks the wrong hornet's nest and unleashes a real villain. Also, it isn't clear what "keep his private life in check" means - is that his love life, bridge club or something else?
Focusing on the beat sheet, I would try to make most of the action/dialog face-to-face because online flame wars won't be very dramatic. Maybe the movie starts with an online focus, then quickly transitions to the consequences of his rants - appearances at subversive events, TV interviews, bricks through his window and so on.
Keep going with it! 
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quade
Tiger
Joined: 12 Jun 2009
Posts: 198
Location: South of the 605
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| Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 10:31 pm Post subject: |
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Ok, so it's classic MITH;
House - the internet. It's inescapable now for the average person and gets integrated in to just about every person's life. He can't even go to a Denny's without somebody pulling out an iPhone and showing his photo to the other diners in the restaurant.
Monster - the denizens of the internet. Even if you tried to escape them by not logging on, they'd still be able to track you down in the house, because, well, nothing can ever really be erased on the internet and the bread crumbs we leave in places like Facebook will lead the monsters to us.
Sin - trying to make a buck by being a jerk.
What I think might be fun for Half Man is somebody that has been raked over the coals on the good ol' WWW like Paris Hilton, but I doubt she'd be half as willing to do something like that as say, Neil Patrick Harris has been. I'll probably just slot in somebody generic for now and do rewrites when the deals are cut. (I should be so lucky.)
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Mammoth
Leopard
Joined: 04 Jun 2009
Posts: 37
Location: Red Deer, AB, Canada
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| Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 1:03 pm Post subject: |
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| You need more specifics. Your monster is vague. The denizens of the internet? That's almost everybody in the world. This is a movie, you need to show us the conflict. WHO is the monster? Maybe he pisses off the wrong guy and that guy comes after him.
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Blueberries
Bengal Tiger
Joined: 03 Mar 2009
Posts: 210
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| Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 9:35 pm Post subject: |
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Hey man, I like the potential in your idea, but the guys are right: You need a specific antagonist, someone he pisses off, and some stakes.
Furthermore, my suggestion is, go bigger-than-life, make your concept cinematic. He isn't just a forum troll, he's a guy who makes successful Youtube videos and attains through them an internet celebrity status (sort of like the incredible Numa Numa guy X 1000).
I fail to see it as a MITH. My suggestion is Superhero. He's an average Joe, unemployed, who gains a cult following and becomes a "people's hero". People love him. But he pisses someone off and he becomes his nemesis. There's also the "curse" of suddenly becoming a celebrity. His newfound status and everything that comes with that -advertising companies, the wrong women- threatens to corrupt him and make him abandon his principles and uncompromising character (the very things that made people love him in the first place).
Oh well, just my take on your idea.
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quade
Tiger
Joined: 12 Jun 2009
Posts: 198
Location: South of the 605
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| Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 10:52 pm Post subject: |
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| Blueberries wrote: | I fail to see it as a MITH. My suggestion is Superhero. He's an average Joe, unemployed, who gains a cult following and becomes a "people's hero". People love him. But he pisses someone off and he becomes his nemesis. There's also the "curse" of suddenly becoming a celebrity. His newfound status and everything that comes with that -advertising companies, the wrong women- threatens to corrupt him and make him abandon his principles and uncompromising character (the very things that made people love him in the first place).
Oh well, just my take on your idea. |
No, no. Don't ever back off on a thought. All input is valuable and to be considered. I had not previously considered it as a Superhero, but I'll have to take a serious look at it as an option now.
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Rachel T.
Ocelot
Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Posts: 812
Location: Michigan
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| Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 1:52 pm Post subject: |
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As far as handing the internet stuff, You've Got Mail did it pretty well. I know it's a BL, but the voice-overs and intercuts were handled well enough that we never sat around going "Oh, geez, they're on the computer again?!?"
Reading through the posts here, I immediately got pictures in my mind of various people he's having a flame-war with, sitting around in their various homes - one a Goth, one a punk, one a suburban house-wife (you could have mucho fun with cameos, too!) - and accompanying voice overs that would not necessarily match the style of person doing to typing. A middle-aged punk with 8 holes in his lip and a mohawk may type from a black room, but his online voice might be a cute, preppy little 16-year-old cheerleader.
This story could easily be about identity, integrity, and our national obsession with fame.
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Ralph Dobbins
Liger
Joined: 24 Feb 2008
Posts: 562
Location: La Grange, Georgia
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| Posted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 12:38 pm Post subject: |
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| I liked how instant messaging was used in the office in The Proposal.
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Joseph Conrad
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FresnoBob
Cat
Joined: 25 Feb 2009
Posts: 14
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| Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 4:54 pm Post subject: |
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| Blueberries wrote: | | Hey man, I like the potential in your idea, but the guys are right: You need a specific antagonist, someone he pisses off, and some stakes. |
Any troll relies on anonymity, for a professional troll, one who's livelihood and newly acquired sense of self worth is everything, anonymity would be absolutely essential - the threat of losing it would make for good stakes.
Maybe thanks to his new found success he's managed to get a chance with the girl he's always had his eye on, but discovers that she loathes his online persona. Should he come clean and give up his new life and will he manage to resolve matters before the antagonist blows his cover?
A lonely slacker gets a new lease on life getting paid to be the most hated man on the internet, but life gets severely complicated when his online nemesis discovers his true identity and threatens to expose him to the woman he loves.
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quade
Tiger
Joined: 12 Jun 2009
Posts: 198
Location: South of the 605
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| Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 11:29 pm Post subject: |
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| FresnoBob wrote: | A lonely slacker gets a new lease on life getting paid to be the most hated man on the internet, but life gets severely complicated when his online nemesis discovers his true identity and threatens to expose him to the woman he loves.
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Thanks, that's awesome!
I've invested a ton in screenwriting classes. I think I might need to take one in writing log lines.
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Blueberries
Bengal Tiger
Joined: 03 Mar 2009
Posts: 210
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| Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 7:55 am Post subject: |
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I think it's a terrific idea, Bob. Seems to be screaming 'high concept/low budget'.
The logline is close, but no cigar. It needs to convey that the girl the hero loves "loathes his online persona" (like Bob said). Maybe he's a chauvinistic pig who's great at making women hit the roof. Also, lose the "life gets severely complicated" part. It's too general and doesn't help the logline.
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FresnoBob
Cat
Joined: 25 Feb 2009
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| Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 8:47 am Post subject: |
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| Blueberries wrote: | I think it's a terrific idea, Bob. Seems to be screaming 'high concept/low budget'.
The logline is close, but no cigar. It needs to convey that the girl the hero loves "loathes his online persona" (like Bob said). Maybe he's a chauvinistic pig who's great at making women hit the roof. Also, lose the "life gets severely complicated" part. It's too general and doesn't help the logline. |
Good pints. How about:
A lonely slacker's life is turned around when he makes a lucrative living with his obnoxious internet alter-ego, but he risks losing everything when his online nemesis discovers his true identity and threatens to expose him to the woman he loves.
Can't seem to cram the 'girlfriend loathing his alter-ego' in there without making it too bloated.
I see the theme as something to do with identity, self-knowledge, living life honestly instead of hiding behind a constructed persona designed to satisfy ultimately superficial desires. His online persona is an obvious example, but maybe he 'learns' from this and employs the same logic to real life only to find that: "love wins out only when we risk exposing our true selves to the world."
I think his online persona would have to be a false construct - it would be difficult to create any kind of sympathy for a real internet troll. Having to keep up the vitriol would also create some nice internal conflict - especially if he discovers that one of his victims is actually the online persona of the woman he loves. Seeing the real world consequences of his online actions is fertile ground for revelatory experiences and motivation to change.
I see his 'online nemesis' as being a competing troll, perhaps someone who has a similar commercial arrangement with another forum. He'd be well motivated to put the hero out of business and, being a real troll, wouldn't care much how he did it.
The subject matter of the forum(s) (or should that be 'fora'?) is also important. It would have to be something that the girl cares deeply about and could provide some interesting b-story material.
Hmmm... I'm beginning to wish I'd had this idea 
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