Project Eden

Cam_O · Tiger Joined: 05 Jun 2009 Posts: 128 Location: Nebraska

Here's the concept:
The future government launches a project in which one male and one female will start a new world from a distant planet.

But it needs more. It needs your help.

Project Eden
After meeting the only other human in a government manufactured living quarters on a distant planet, a lonely man seeks to discover the truth.

"Discover the truth" is less specific than I want.

My theme is suffering is necessary for love and joy. Or something close to that. The government is using these two for a world where they hope there will be no suffering. But, darn it! We can't have true joy without the contrast of suffering.

Your help is greatly appreciated!

_________________
I am full of ideas.
I just don't know what they are yet.

Helena Campbell · Siberian Tiger Joined: 31 Aug 2008 Posts: 367

I'm not sure you can flesh out your logline, until you flesh out your story. Who are the man and woman? Why were they chosen? Did they volunteer? What world is this? How do they survive? I feel like there's got to be some sort of "Defying Gravity" set up - where there's more going on than either of them know. Is it only the two of them in the film?

The biggest thing for me though is in the title - it's called Project Eden so the biggest thing to come to my mind is that there has to be a "snake" in there somewhere.

I'm a Christian, and one of the most helpful discriptions of the apple and the snake for me is that the sin wasn't just in doing something they weren't supposed to do, it was in the fact that they were trying to take the place of God - the snake tells them that if they eat the apple they will be "like God", and implies that God was being paranoid and selfish in his commandment -that it wasn't really for Adam and Eve's own good. It's interesting - in much of C.S Lewis's writing he suggests that perhaps, had Adam and Eve trusted God, that the apple would have been given to them to eat- with a much different outcome.

So anyways, there's got to be a snake element.

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Cam_O · Tiger Joined: 05 Jun 2009 Posts: 128 Location: Nebraska

Thanks very much!

Here is what I have so far...

(1) They were chosen randomly as unwanted babies up for adoption.
(2) Earth is horribly corrupt. So the government wants a new world without suffering. They can try this with their experiment.
(3) So they built a living quarters for this man. Picture a white hospital room. Everything is under strict control. Totally void of anything that could cause suffering. Padded everywhere; bordering on an insane asylum. He is able to walk around in a certain sun room for "outdoors time". What we realize in the set-up is how lonesome this guy is.
(4) They get regular shipments of food from a space station. The astronauts steer clear of the hero. They want him to live in "peace". As is the experiment.
(5) Once a year (starting as an adult) he gets to meet with the female behind glass to build up friendship.
(6) They are taught their lessons by recorded voices; no humans.
(7) A recording states repeatedly "Don't leave your home. It's a sin" - This can be the "sin" he commits. The Break-Into-Two. He breaks the glass, grabs the woman, and they board the space station. Or something similar.

C.S. Lewis is one of my absolute favorite authors; up there with Peter Kreeft. I'm glad to hear you enjoy his work as well.

To play of the "be like God". It could rather be, "Stay inside your home and you will be happy." But the hero and the woman want more out of their lives.

I wonder how I could add the snake element. It should be the villain.

The Space-Nature for Animosity Killing Experiment (SNAKE). Not bad for a first try. ...Actually that's pretty bad. Smile

_________________
I am full of ideas.
I just don't know what they are yet.

Helena Campbell · Siberian Tiger Joined: 31 Aug 2008 Posts: 367

I honestly think there needs to be a third character - either the person who runs the station, or some random stowaway, or SOMETHING. This figure could start out as a good guy and become the snake.

Here's the thing - they wouldn't understand what a sin is...

and... it makes more sense that if you were going to create a world with no suffering, only happiness, you wouldn't create a sterile hospital like environment, you'd give these two people everything that could ever make them happy - a beautiful garden, amazing food, games, etc. You're also completely missing a God character. Right now there's nothing at stake for them to rebel against. They have no parental figure, and to be honest, it kind of sounds like their lives suck. There has to be something more at stake than: we're bored, and now we escape even though we're not supposed to.

Check out the terrible film "THe Island" - bad, but it deals with a very similar concept to what you're working with.

I also don't think these people would have been chosen at random - they would have been picked as ideal species, people who didn't have an aptitude of depression, etc. Also, it's common knowledge that human beings can't live without human companionship - more than the occasional conversation through a glass wall.

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gc_bevan · Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 3:44 pm Post subject:

The scientist/s running the experiment seem like the perfect antagonists. They want to force ignorant bliss on their subjects by denying them freedom, leading to increasing conflict and eventual rebellion.

I agree with Helena that the heroes should be selected on purpose. To add to the science-gone-wrong vibe, maybe the researchers could be experimenting on their own offspring. And the oldest kid could be put in the bubble at age one or two, providing vague memories of freedom to spur action.

Keep refining this concept - I think it's a winner! Smile

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Just keep writing, baby...

Helena Campbell · Siberian Tiger Joined: 31 Aug 2008 Posts: 367

I LOVE the idea that it's their own offspring!

Look at some old twilight zone episodes, there's one about Eden, another about a mute girl - that I think might be really helpful.

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martinm · Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 5:03 pm Post subject:

The fact that a future GOVERNMENT creates the new world by necessity means that it will be flawed, otherwise I suppose you could really say that "the government can save us." Which it can't. :-) Have you considered that the story could be framed as ROP - perhaps "Celestial ROP" (!) at least in the sense of: (1) there is a problem - suffering. The wrong way - create a utopia. Solution - that depends upon what you want your story to say.

So how can the inhabitants of the new world exist in a world where there is no suffering if suffering is a given? Maybe the "secret weapon" of the future government - to keep the population under control - is some aspect or mechanism of "denial" that is "woven into" the fabric of the new world. Perhaps it all goes smoothly until one particular person gets wise to the government scheme, in some way. Funny thing - could it be that the "snake in the garden" - at least in terms of the above - is none other than - the future government!!? :-) "You can live without suffering. You can be like God!"

I don't know if all this sounds too much like Matrix or not. Perhaps, "Give me Matrix, only different."

Helena Campbell · Siberian Tiger Joined: 31 Aug 2008 Posts: 367

The Matrix is interesting... I'm thinking about Agent Smith's quote about when the Matrix was first developed it was a utopia - and people rejected it. They wouldn't accept a world without pain...

So give us that first attempt...

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Cam_O · Tiger Joined: 05 Jun 2009 Posts: 128 Location: Nebraska

Martin, I like the ROP idea!

Problem - Life has suffering.
Wrong Way - Create a Utopia (Try running away).
Solution - "Embrace" suffering as necessity for a normal life.

Gc, that idea is perfect! It adds more irony and drama to have the guinea pigs be their offspring.

Twenty years after the unwanted children of world-renown scientists are used as guinea pigs for an isolated space utopia, they break from their cells and flee into an unknown world.

This way could be interesting; on an alien planet (doesn't mean there are aliens!). They flee from the experiment and are now "hunted" by the furious scientists and astronauts because they don't want all this experimentation and money to be a waste. And are trying to survive in an unknown world.

Thoughts? Insults?

_________________
I am full of ideas.
I just don't know what they are yet.

gc_bevan · Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 12:38 pm Post subject:

I like your ROP arc and think it's interesting that the parents have the original problem. In an attempt to solve it and give their children a better world, they condemn them to a warped existence. This is a classic parenting mistake carried to extremes - and thereby very cool! Here's another stab at the logline:

Project Eden
After learning they are guinea pigs in an isolated space utopia, the grown-up children of ruthless research scientists plot escape to an untamed alien world.

_________________
Just keep writing, baby...

crazrick · Liger Joined: 28 Mar 2008 Posts: 655

to me, it worked better as a mystery. When we don't know the reasons these two and only these two are present at the facility, we learn as they do... in some ways, it's also like BLUE LAGOON with the two kids lost at sea and left grow together on the deserted island.

maybe instead of SNAKE, you have A.S.P-- Assimilation Synchronization Probe, a device that tracks progress and growth of these two, and invites and incites them to escape their 'cage' when they have reached a certain age. Serves the same function as the snake, makes suggestions and monitors everything they do, it's the scientists' eyes and ears-- the control device.

that way, there's some evil snake element that leads back to some twisted 'left hand of God' metaphor...

...or something.

lots of ways to spin this concept! I likey!

write on!
Cool

_________________
On this island, nothing stays buried for long.
Secrets have a way of coming out...

Cam_O · Tiger Joined: 05 Jun 2009 Posts: 128 Location: Nebraska

Rick, I do agree with you, but in terms of the logline I think it would need to explain the idea in order to be marketable. If District 9 was a logline, then more would be given away than was seen in the trailer.

And I can see this trailer already.

A robotic voice talking the hero through his routine. "Time for outside. Smile. Life is good." Then, on cue, the woman comes out to their usual place. They talk. And secretly exchange a note. A cut to them breaking through their cells and out into the unfamiliar and on with their escape plan. Jungles, caves, and infested water. Cosmic Police Force is sent after the escapees. (one of them could be B Story). Then silence as the hero and the woman shuffle through a forest. An alien growls from the darkness.

Time for a BS2 I suspect.

_________________
I am full of ideas.
I just don't know what they are yet.

fletch137 · Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 1:15 pm Post subject:

Oops, I've disconnected. Is the story about these two discovering each other or is it about them already together and deciding to solve the mystery of why they're there?

The second option sounds like the movie 'Cube' (one of my all-time favorites) while option 1 kind of reminds me of one of the 'Martian Chronicles' segments featuring Bernadette Peters (another one of my favorites, rawr-rawr).

Cam_O · Tiger Joined: 05 Jun 2009 Posts: 128 Location: Nebraska

Fletch, them finding each other would all be set-up. The movie is them breaking from their "perfect life" cells and into an unknown world.

_________________
I am full of ideas.
I just don't know what they are yet.

fletch137 · Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 9:10 am Post subject:

I get it. I was expecting a Garden of Eden allegory, but that's really just the backstory.

What you're actually talking about is Adam and Eve characters who start to question the 'why' of their existance and decide to escape from Eden (which might make a punchier title for your script: 'Escaping Eden'...hmm...)

Looking forward to those beats.

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