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condog
Bengal Tiger
Joined: 13 Sep 2010
Posts: 257
Location: Playa Vista, CA
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Jaime Bengzon
Sphynx
Joined: 17 Apr 2008
Posts: 895
Location: Marikina, Philippines
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 Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 11:56 am Post subject: |
 #24671 |
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Thank you so much, Chris 
Apologies for the extremely late reply; am working on my Industry Insider entry
| condog wrote: | | What's even funnier, did he choose that name or is it his real name? Either way is comedy gold. Will he be compensating or over-compensating? |
Compensating; he's a commercially successful but critically reviled director (he does genre parodies  ) and sees Viola's script as his chance for artistic credibility
| condog wrote: | One last bit of input... If she actually did a polish on the script, why would she have to disguise herself as the brother to get it made? Wouldn't she at least be acknowledged as part of the writing team?
So what about:
Maybe she gave him some input that made it into the script (like a good line that the director says...  ) and she thinks she should be co-writer. Or, she wanted to get her ideas into the script, but her brother wouldn't let her. This is her way to insert her own ideas, and she plans on telling everyone "they came from my sister." In essence, she seizes the opportunity to steal the script, but she needs to pose as the brother in order to get away with it. And, since he is out of communication for at least six months, he'll be sure to thank her once he finds out all the trouble she went through... (or not!) |
Great call! It's a simpler and far more elegant solution than the one I was thinking of, which involved a back-story about how she wanted to stay "pure" to her goal of being a model (I don't know if that even makes sense )
Since Double Take has been used as a title, the most recent instance being 2010, have come up with another one:
| Quote: | Title: Stand-In
Genre: Fool Triumphant (Undercover Fool)
Logline: After an unsuccessful model’s screenplay is greenlit she impersonates her twin brother to get it made and is woefully unprepared for development hell and gender-bending on-set romances! |
_________________
"This is who I am, I'm not the enemy, and I'm not afraid."
-- Lt. Gen. Eugene Irwin, The Last Castle
"If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."
-- attributed to various sources
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Jaime Bengzon
Sphynx
Joined: 17 Apr 2008
Posts: 895
Location: Marikina, Philippines
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Jaime Bengzon
Sphynx
Joined: 17 Apr 2008
Posts: 895
Location: Marikina, Philippines
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| Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 12:07 pm Post subject: |
#28359 |
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Paring it down and taking the lead back all the way:
| Quote: | Title: Seeing Double
Genre: Fool Triumphant (Undercover Fool)
Logline: A timid librarian impersonates her twin brother to use his Hollywood contacts only to find herself woefully unprepared for development hell and gender-bending on-set romances! |
_________________
"This is who I am, I'm not the enemy, and I'm not afraid."
-- Lt. Gen. Eugene Irwin, The Last Castle
"If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."
-- attributed to various sources
Last edited by Jaime Bengzon on Sun Feb 27, 2011 12:34 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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writingmama
Huggy Cat
Joined: 13 Aug 2008
Posts: 2496
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Jaime Bengzon
Sphynx
Joined: 17 Apr 2008
Posts: 895
Location: Marikina, Philippines
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| Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 1:52 am Post subject: |
#28400 |
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Thank you so much, Debbie
Am recovering from an asthma attack (no hospitalization needed, luckily ) and have recently started on two jobs: I've been re-appointed to the Movie and TV review and classification board and am going back to teaching. I got really excited when found out that not only is there a new building/facilities for the Communication Arts department in the college where I used to teach but was also uber stoked to learn they're planning a College of Communication Arts/Multimedia as well!
The big change from model to librarian has to do with the comedic value. While there is some to a model writing a screenplay and passing herself of as a guy, by their very nature models are extroverted or have to learn how to be. So while there would be an appearance arc, the character arc would not show as much growth as a timid librarian's. And a timid librarian would have more obstacles than a scheming model.
But all of that was arrived at after much tought. Because working on this did not come as easily to me as action-thrillers I went back to the source and found diarist Samuel Pepys described it as "silly", a characteristic that permeates the play. Perhaps not so much silliness as lightheartedness is the best way to qualify it and it's the absence of that which has been my stumbling block in doing the BS2. The lightheartedness that runs through Twelfth Night is found in abundance in Tootsie, She's the Man, America's Sweethearts and Tropic Thunder which are my tonal references.
I hope all of this makes sense
_________________
"This is who I am, I'm not the enemy, and I'm not afraid."
-- Lt. Gen. Eugene Irwin, The Last Castle
"If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."
-- attributed to various sources
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cynthiamc
Liger
Joined: 10 Jan 2010
Posts: 748
Location: Winter Park, FL
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| Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 5:09 am Post subject: |
#28402 |
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| Loved Tootsie!
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writingmama
Huggy Cat
Joined: 13 Aug 2008
Posts: 2496
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Jaime Bengzon
Sphynx
Joined: 17 Apr 2008
Posts: 895
Location: Marikina, Philippines
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| Posted: Sun Feb 27, 2011 12:35 pm Post subject: |
#29019 |
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| Quote: | PROJECT TITLE: Seeing Double
GENRE: Fool Triumphant (Undercover Fool)
Logline: A tomboy librarian impersonates her twin brother to use his Hollywood contacts only to find herself embroiled in development hell and steamy gender-bending romances! |
1. Opening Scene:
AT HOME: In a living room with a killer gaming system, VIOLA KENT works on her script Star-Cross’d, an updated version of Romeo and Juliet; TV in background shows Entertainment Tonight’s Real or Rumor:
• ORSON HERZOG’s Action Movie opens to universally negative reviews and $19.07M Box Office.
• LIV GRAVIN, triple-threat star of Show Choir 1, 2 & 3 enters treatment center to deal with “various issues following break-up with Cash Evans, her leading man and boyfriend of five years”.
• Documentarian SEBASTIAN KENT signs with an “A-List Agency” following his Oscar nomination for Road Ode.
2. Theme Stated:
AT WORK: In local library, Viola and PORTIA WARWICK, head librarian, file new books and magazines. They pass a poster: For all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: it might have been. Portia tells Vi about her glory days as a background actor and the love of her life; he married someone his parents picked and “entered the family business”.
3. Set-Up:
Voila brings script to Sebastian, her twin brother, who promises he’ll read it; she helps load film equipment in a mini-van. He gives her his cel: “Be a pal: Take my calls and look after my place.” Mini-van’s bumper sticker reads “it isn’t where you came from, it’s where you’re going that counts”.
4. Catalyst:
Vi cleans Sebastian’s apartment-- and she finds all of her scripts, unread, in a drawer. She drives home in tears; Sebastian’s cell beeps with a message from FABIAN HARCOURT, his agent: “Sebastian baby, it’s been ages! Let’s do lunch.”
5. Debate:
At a LAN party Vi’s game is off but she pulls it together to beat a rival clan, which has a Hollywood celebrity. Later she bursts into tears with T.H. FESTE, her transman best friend, and he tells her “Dude, ya gotta man up. Seriously.”
At Sebastian’s T.H. teaches Vi all about being a guy. A grateful Vi says “Come by any time, mi casa es su casa”.
6. Break into 2:
As Sebastian, Vi gives Fabian Star-Cross’d. Fabian reads it-- makes a call.
7. B Story:
“Sebastian” and Fabian meet Orson and TOBI BELCHOIR, Orson’s daughter and assistant, at Illyria Productions. Orson wants Star-Cross’d but talk about male leads ends when CALEB SHILLOCKE, chairman of Stratford Entertainment, joins them and says they have to use MAL VAUX who is “really excited-- and has notes. And speaking of notes, can we give this a happy ending?”
Tobi observes they “totally need Liv Gravin”. Vi blurts “I think she’d be perfect!” Fabian chimes in: “We get her attached and Sebastian gets producer credit as well!”
8. Fun and Games:
As Sebastian, Vi gains access to an exclusive spa where she “bumps into” Liv. Vi chats her up and pitches Star-Cross’d. Intrigued, Liv skims first and last ten pages, observes “You made it her story.” She wants in.
• With leads attached Vi and Orson negotiate budget and production schedule with Caleb.
• Read-throughs, rehearsals and rewrites.
• Meetings with WILLY SPEARS, president of Globe Media.
• Storyboard wall growth montage.
• Liv/Mal wardrobe montage.
• Vi and Orson bond over gaming sessions She also puts together a killer gaming PC for him.
• Mal puts moves on Liv.
• Vi and Liv bond over character discussion and Hollywood partying and shopping.
• Orson writes Liv, who tosses it. Vi reads and answers as Liv. Romantic correspondence follows.
• Vi takes Portia to Illyria and where she’s signed as a background artist. They promise to spend Thanksgiving weekend together.
• Mal’s really bad notes are rebuffed while Liv’s are taken on board.
9. Midpoint:
Viola gets her first paycheck and WGA card—in Sebastian’s name. She heads to a bar as herself—and sees Orson there; she chats him up--they have a good time together—then make out. An abashed Vi runs off; at Sebastian’s T.H. is hosting a LAN party. She throws everybody out: “This isn’t who I am anymore!” “You got that right ‘cause you now a Hollywood biatch!”
10. Bad Guys Close In:
• Production shuts down for Thanksgiving weekend. Vi spends it with Orson and Tobi and sees firsthand what he’s like as a father, son and brother.
• Vi remembers her promise to Portia. She leaves Orson’s but Portia doesn’t want to speak to her.
• Liv rebuffs Mal and tells him she’s “going for it” with Sebastian.
• Mal stalks Liv and feeds gossip to ANDREW AGUEDA of TMZ
• Sebastian wraps and heads back to LA.
• Caleb sends more notes insisting on a happy ending.
11. All Is Lost:
Sebastian returns to his apartment, Liv enters and makes her move, Andrew films it. Orson catches it on TMZ on TV and when Vi comes to visit they fight; Orson throws gaming PC out window.
12. Dark Night of the Soul:
Vi runs to Portia. The two make up: “It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” They hold each other and cry.
13. Break into 3:
First day of shoot: DP tweaks lights, crew at craft service table, background artists get makeup and hair done.
14. Plan to storm Castle:
Mal gets grips to move lights, Liv and Sebastian pillow talk, Vi makes up with T.H., hires him as her assistant.
15. Enter the Bad Guys’ fort:
Liv and Sebastian arrive on set as a couple. Caleb brings notes. Vi, Portia and T.H. arrive.
16. “It’s a trap!”:
As buzz about Liv and Sebastian reach Mal, he goads Orson into fighting Sebastian.
17. “Dig deep down”:
Viola stops fight—by flashing Orson! She comes clean about everything and declares her love for Orson. Orson is angry and confused.
18. Final Battle:
Portia and Caleb reunited: he’s Portia’s great love; Caleb reveals that Star-Cross’d reminded him of their affair and he “wanted a happy ending for it, even if it was only in the movies”. Mal busted and fired. Leading man problem: Vi asks Orson to trust her and leaves. She and T.H. return with the Hollywood celebrity/gamer.
Orson sizes up situation—-then nods. He goes off to one side with celebrity. Liv talks to Vi about her character--
19. Wrap-Up/Denouement:
CANNES FILM FESTIVAL: Death scene plays out on silver screen, as it fades to black there’s dead silence— followed by wild applause and standing ovation!
In lobby Liv and Sebastian pose for pictures. Vi and Orson approach each other awkwardly. They start anew with a kiss.
20. Final Image:
CASA DI GIULETTA, VERONA, ITALY: Viola and Orson attend wedding of Portia and Caleb. As they party Vi wonders aloud about Mal.
21. Coda: Title sequence of WTF?!, a stunt and prank show hosted by Mal Vaux.
_________________
"This is who I am, I'm not the enemy, and I'm not afraid."
-- Lt. Gen. Eugene Irwin, The Last Castle
"If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."
-- attributed to various sources
Last edited by Jaime Bengzon on Sun Mar 06, 2011 6:44 pm; edited 10 times in total |
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writingmama
Huggy Cat
Joined: 13 Aug 2008
Posts: 2496
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| Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2011 11:11 pm Post subject: |
#29085 |
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Woohoo, Jaime!
This looks like a lot of fun!
All of the romantic entanglements and comedy --- plus it's all about writing and Hollywood!
The theme has a beautiful message -- to me it means we should work hard to make our dreams come true so we can avoid the saddest fate of all - what may have been.
Love the fun opening image -- all the beats are looking good!
The final image is romantic and very funny with Mal!
Do you have any actors in mind?
I like the change to tomboy librarian from timid one!
Applause for a great job with this story, Jaime!
A fun FT with a beautiful message for all of us!
Hugs
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Jaime Bengzon
Sphynx
Joined: 17 Apr 2008
Posts: 895
Location: Marikina, Philippines
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| Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 10:14 pm Post subject: |
#29229 |
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Thank you so much, Debbie
This pesky bug is a "non-specific viral infection" which means all we can do is ride it out 
While a timid librarian seemed the way to go at first, after more thought it seemed there was nothing ironic about that. Tootsie, She's the Man and Just One of the Guys all have scenes where they bond. Since Vi and Orson are already colleagues I needed to find something that was outside writing/production work. After kicking around other possibilities I went with gaming because a gamer librarian seemed really ironic. That's how she became a tomboy
As far as actors go, I never like to cast (advice from Blake and Bill Martell and that's good enough for me ) although I will use a character-type or an actor's persona as a staring point to help flesh out a character or to get a speech pattern, if that makes sense.
Back when this was a drama I thought of someone like Gabby Reece who's tall, athletic, strong-willed; hot enough to model yet can pass for a guy with the right clothes and make-up. After embracing the source material and its comedic vibe, I thought the most unlikely guy would be somebody like Christina Hendricks Although the only way that would work is if she had a fat suit and a beard-- she'd wind up looking like Zach Galifianakis In the end it's about writing a great character that an actor would want to play imho
Because I do tend to have problems getting into the heads of antagonists Mal proved to be problematic at first, especially since Malvolio is so shallow and petty. But when I envisioned him as an "ebil" Aston Kutcher-Punk'd type, then everything fell into place and the coda immediately suggested itself
Long-winded and I hope it makes sense
_________________
"This is who I am, I'm not the enemy, and I'm not afraid."
-- Lt. Gen. Eugene Irwin, The Last Castle
"If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."
-- attributed to various sources
Last edited by Jaime Bengzon on Mon Mar 07, 2011 6:07 am; edited 2 times in total |
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wyliekyote
Cat
Joined: 18 Jun 2008
Posts: 19
Location: Phoenix, AZ
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| Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2011 5:26 pm Post subject: Sounds Great! |
#29308 |
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After some time away, I've finally made it back to the cat...
And, after reading all of the posts in this topic, I have to say, I have really enjoyed watching the evolution of your logline Jaime!
AND, I too instantly was drawn to the idea of a "redo" of 12th Night. (Shakes is always a treasure trove of ideas... 10 things I hate, etc...)
And your beat sheet I think really locks it down!
I look forward to hearing more, and of course, SEEING it on the big screen!_________________ ---
"Try again, fail again, fail BETTER!" - Samuel Beckett
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Writers write. I procrastinate.
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Jaime Bengzon
Sphynx
Joined: 17 Apr 2008
Posts: 895
Location: Marikina, Philippines
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| Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2011 10:43 am Post subject: |
#29343 |
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Thank you so much for the kind words, Wylie!
Beating out Seeing Double didn't come as easily to me as my BL actioners or even my Whydunnit/Institutionalized. That's a good thing because the experience exercised other screenwriting muscles.
There were a lot of speed bumps; and I knew I was on the right track when things fell into place after changes: defining Vi's script as an updated version of Romeo and Juliet, giving her a nurse/mother-figure with her own unrequited love back-story, making her a tomboy librarian instead of a model and Mal as an "ebil" Ashton Kutcher-type (as previously mentioned).
One characteristic this project has that other things I'm working on don't is the license to be self-conscious. I had a ball referencing both the Bard and Hollywood; Show Choir 1, 2 & 3 is a nod to both Glee and High School Musical and the latter referenced Romeo and Juliet as well. In-jokes is something that doesn't work outside of a comedy, imho, so I went to town with it .
I'm getting some feedback on the BS2 and the next step after that will be a treatment. I'll be working on the first draft of Seeing Double along with the third draft of my BL actioner
_________________
"This is who I am, I'm not the enemy, and I'm not afraid."
-- Lt. Gen. Eugene Irwin, The Last Castle
"If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."
-- attributed to various sources
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Jaime Bengzon
Sphynx
Joined: 17 Apr 2008
Posts: 895
Location: Marikina, Philippines
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| Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 1:39 am Post subject: |
#32352 |
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Latest revision for the logline:
| Quote: | | A snarky waitress impersonates her A-Lister brother to protect their script after a critically reviled D-Lister greenlights it-- and finds herself woefully unprepared for production hell and steamy gender-bending on-set romances. |
Thoughts?
_________________
"This is who I am, I'm not the enemy, and I'm not afraid."
-- Lt. Gen. Eugene Irwin, The Last Castle
"If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."
-- attributed to various sources
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Jaime Bengzon
Sphynx
Joined: 17 Apr 2008
Posts: 895
Location: Marikina, Philippines
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 4:20 am Post subject: |
#37935 |
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Four years after this thread started and five months after whittling down the 190 page Hemingway draft to a manageable length of 106 pages, it's done
Logline (thanks for the help, Mike) :
| Quote: | | When her prep school athlete twin gets hit by a car, a tomboy impersonates him to preserve his basketball scholarship... unprepared for the gender-bending romances that follow. |
While the working title was Double Dribble, I will probably change it to Dude Looks Like a Lady to immediately "say what it is".
Thoughts?
Debbie, I sent you a PM
_________________
"This is who I am, I'm not the enemy, and I'm not afraid."
-- Lt. Gen. Eugene Irwin, The Last Castle
"If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."
-- attributed to various sources
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