Fish out of water

[camachoborracho]

DELETED

[Martin Blank]

Putting a character in the world of the blind is an interesting premise and I can think of several movies that use blind lead characters to great effect: the classic Wait Until Dark, and more recently, Scent of a Woman and At First Sight.

We’re all in the business, or should be. of writing actor bait. I’d say first and most of all…you must find a way to make your main character sympathetic. You try to do that in the second version, but then, why a school for the blind?

Cheers,
Martin

_________________
"I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork."

[camachoborracho]

DELETED

[Helena Campbell]

I would just be careful it doesn't run into the area of camp. Seriously making fun of the blind isn't cool - but a situation where she IS a fish out of water, but ends up being really moved by these other students would be great.

_________________

[camachoborracho]

DELETED

[gorlando]

I don't think fish out of the water would be the best genre type. You're obviously open with the story at this point, so I say this whole-heartedly. If you do, the main story is going to be this woman trying to fit in with the blind. That could either 1) show the reality and humanity of blind people or 2) poke fun. Its never fun to poke at disabled people.

I really like the concept though. I like the second one, where the mob ties in. I love the idea of her being an eyewitness, and that being her drive to go to the school.

How would this movie end though? I can't think of a decent end to this movie. She falls in love with a blind man, escapes from the mob.. what? It seems like this is going to be another Walk Hard, where you come in strong and than poop through the rest of the movie.

Let us know where you want to go with this! Prove me wrong! I want to know, and I'll be glad to throw whatever input I can.

[Flickster]

I LOVE the idea of her hiding out in a school for the blind!

After witnessing a murder, a beautiful wannabe actress figures a school for the blind is the last place the mob would look for her. But when her fellow students take her underwing, she realizes....

You'll have to fill in the rest... but I agree that having people know her for WHO she is rather than what she looks like - and then her learning from them ... has real potential for great character and story arc!

Lauri

[Mike Rinaldi]

[gorlando]

[Rachel T.]

When I think of FTs I think of Legally Blond - the hook was simple and funny: a Valley Girl goes to Harvard. We automatically assume she's an airhead in every sense of the word, we question almost as openly as the other characters if she'll succeed, and the movie has fun turning our expectations of her on end. I don't get that feeling with either of your loglines. So she's an actress. So what? She wants the part in The Miracle Worker. So what?

Elle Woods originally goes to Harvard to win her less-obviously shallow boyfriend back. The murder case is a mid-movie shift in direction for her - she realizes what everyone thinks of her, that Warner doesn't deserve her, and sets off to prove them all wrong. For your story, I could see this wanna-be getting rejected, and going off to the blind school for totally wrong reasons - then coming out with a new goal. What that goal would be I don't know.

For the second logline - she witnesses a murder and has to hide out. But Whoopi's character in Sister Act learned something about herself, and about the people she's hiding out among. She gives them a new direction and purpose as much as they give her one. The second logline needs a similar direction.

_________________
Don't be afraid to admit that inside you is a seething, fiery core of ambition and lust for success that would appall Napoleon.
-Russell Galen

[camachoborracho]

DELETED

[crazrick]

or what?

there's even less primal at stake with this new one than the previous versions where her career and/or her life were at risk...

I think a better way to go would be to some how smash both of the original versions into one succinct storyline

the mob girlfriend is spoiled, used to getting whatever she wants, just has to ask her mobster boyfriend... she's also an aspiring actress trying for a role in The Miracle Worker... she gets denied the role, so her boyfriend whacks some people connected to the production, which freaks the girl out, so she flees and hides out at the school for the blind where she had planned to do her research for the role she didn't get any way... now, she has to figure a way thru life for herself, where to go from here? back to the thugs, or turn them in for all their crimes (including ones she may not even know about, or they don't know she knows about... etc etc...) or find her own way onward and upward into something else, making her the Fool Triumphant of the witness relocation program, or some such... so she ends up in some country road-theater troupe or something...

I dunno, it's your story, but those first two ideas were vastly superior to this latest, in my amateurish and humble opinion...

good luck with it, whatever it becomes

write on!

_________________
On this island, nothing stays buried for long.
Secrets have a way of coming out...

[camachoborracho]

OK CrazRick

Redid the LL & I think it's better. Much different this time around, but getting better responses:

Title: A REAL LOOKER
Genre: FT (I think? ... or DWAP or INST)
Tag: “Meet the school’s best pupil.”
LL: When a shallow, pretentious teen ‘artiste’ trying to win a film contest inadvertently records corrupt cops committing murder, she must pose as a student at a school for the blind.

Thanks for the help!

[crazrick]

maybe end it with something like 'she hides in plain sight at a school for the blind...'

or something like that... but it's getting real close to locked down now!

woo!

write on!

_________________
On this island, nothing stays buried for long.
Secrets have a way of coming out...

[fletch137]

Did I miss something? All of Comacho's posts are deleted?

Whatever I missed, I really like the idea of a film competition. I don't remember seeing that in the original pitch, but it really works.

The conclusion I'm seeing is that the dirty cops finally catch up with her and think they're safe doing her in despite being in a building full of people. They're just blind, they think, what are they going to do?

Then the blind students start listing off stuff like "I recognize your voice from the newspaper stand" or "you're wearing Venture aftershave, aren't you" and they realize they can be identified by everyone in there.

As an added bonus, the heroine's time with the blind gets made into her contest entry. Big wins all around.

What do you think, sirs?

Unless Comacho already said all that. Like I said, all deleted posts.