X the Boyfriend! Beat Sheet

Felicia · Puma Joined: 19 Aug 2009 Posts: 92

Okay, so here's the BS for the ROP story. I know I've said it before, but to those who missed it: I don't have English as my first language, so that's why it may sound a little strange sometimes...

Now let's see what you think about this:

Set-up: The heroine is dumped by her boyfriend for another girl who turns out to be pregnant. Has to deal with the fact he has been cheating on her, and gets even more depressed when the couple buy a fantastic house and their cute baby is born. He now has the perfect family life while she is a poor, single mother of a sad kid who lost the stepfather he really loved.

Katalyst: She gets a phone call from the new girlfriend (GF 2) who tells her that another girl (GF 3) called, asking her about a photo she happened to see at Facebook, picturing her boyfriend with a baby in his arms, smiling next to GF 2… and GF 3 claimed that the guy was her boyfriend and the stepfather of her two kids… The heroine is confused, but slowly understands what a surreal life she’s been a part of the last four years.

Break Into Act 2: GF 2 tells her boyfriend that everything is revealed and that it’s over. She never wants to see him again. She leaves the apartment. The guy tries desperately and clumsy (in a funny way) to commit suicide by cutting his wrists, after calling his mom who then calls his brother who saves him and takes him to the hospital. Meanwhile, the heroine invites the other two girlfriends to a dinner at her place and they all meet for the first time.

B-story: Don't know yet...

Fun And Games: They are helping each other to complete the jigsaw puzzle and answer the questions that they all has about his life (lies about working overtime, going on a ”boys vacation” in the sumer and so on, when he spent time with the the other girlfriends), trying to understand why he did this and how he managed to keep his secret for so long. The heroine and GF 2 wants to confront him, but GF 3 refuses to ever meet him again. The heroine wants a revenge, and the other two agree on that.

Midpoint: The three girls meet several times and come up with different ideas on how to get their revenge, when suddenly GF 2 (with the little baby) declares she has visited him at the hospital and that she accepted his apology. She agreed to his suggestion try all over again with him. After all, he’s the father of her son.

Bad Guys Close In: The trio is getting separated, step by step. GF 2 is back with the guy, GF 3 is getting more and more depressed, because she had problems before she met him and now they start coming back to her, and her two kids have problems in school. The heroine tries to go on by herself, and encouraged by her son she dates a new guy, but finds herself not able to trust any man again. She’s also struggling with the fact that she’s starting to dislike herself, after having been stupid enough to let her boyfriend cheat on her all these years. GF 3 is on the verge of having a breakdown, feeling so guilty towards her two kids who used to call her boyfriend ”dad”, since their own dad died years ago. The three girls lose contact.

All Is Lost: The heroine is alone and stuck with deep thoughts of revenge. Feels guilty, like she’s hurt her kid when she sees him cry, longing for his stepfather.

Dark Night of the Soul: The heroine realize she must go on with her own life, not letting the boyfriend control her thoughts anymore.
Break Into Act 3: The heroine is informed that GF 3 is not doing well. She visits her, helps her get a grip of her life, cleans up her home and takes care of her kids.

Finale: The heroine and GF 3 are now strong together and full of fighting spirit. But it’s not about the boyfriend anymore – it’s about saving GF 2 from the guy. They confront GF 2 and make her understand that she has to deal with her own fear of being alone, instead of living with a psychopath and pretend everything is perfect. Ultimately, they succeed and GF 2 leaves him.

The story ends with the three girls together, helping each other with their kids, having fun and appreciating that the met each other.

This is just a start. I'm excited to hear your reactions!

Cam_O · Tiger Joined: 05 Jun 2009 Posts: 141 Location: Nebraska

Felicia, it seems like you are working hard. Keep at it!

My thoughts:

Set-Up - Sounds like you are making the audience feel really sorry for the hero, which is good.

Catalyst - I am confused why Girlfriend 2 called her. Just because she saw a picture? Maybe don't have a phone call. You could have them all meet at the supermarket, oblivious to the irony. They could all be in the same aisle...
Hero is mourning her loss, looking for a special kind of food her and the sleazy boyfriend used to eat together so she can have a good cry and watch a soap. (I'm assuming females do that) - Caramel Apples. Have her go get caramel apples, because they were her boyfriend's favorite food.
Girlfriend 2 is going to get Caramel Apples for a movie night with her boyfriend.
Girlfriend 3 works there.

"Caramel Apples at this time of night?" "Yah my boyfriend loves 'em!" Yah, mine too! Well, Ex-boyfriend." ...
You get the idea.
Maybe they aren't picking out caramel apples, but I think there should be a more unique way of them meeting.

Break Into Two - Could you please describe attempting suicide "in a funny way"? Smile

I'm sure you have a good idea, it just threw me.

B-story - Could be all the Ex Girlfriends? She learns her lessons from them and applies them to him.

Fun and Games This section to me would absolutely be - "Ex Girlfriends pranking the sleazy boyfriend like no other." They could do things like forcing him to cover up his lies even more when the hero stops by for a visit or Girlfriend 3 and the hero meet up with them at the movie theatre. I could see him almost having a panic attack trying to bury his evil past. This section could be very entertaining!

Midpoint - ...but, it does throw off the rest of your story. Let's see if we can see a quick fix...
The stakes are raised when... He seems defeated. This false victory seems like a win, but man, no one deserves that!

Bad Guys Close In - You could write the girlfriends with strikingly different personalities. Girlfriend 3 (G3) could be into this revenge thing more than anyone else. G2 could want to stop all together and forget about all they did. The hero is in between. She wants to change him, not just hurt him.
So they all have different goals, so they split up through Doubt, Fear and Jealousy.

All is Lost - Maybe in all her Revenge Seeking, the Hero has been neglecting her son. And... the son got revenge on the bully at his school because "That's what mommy did." The bully could be in the hospital for your whiff of death. (Not really close do death at all, just a whiff.)
Or, even make the bully G3's son. Because...

Break Into Three - The hero gets her team back because she has a plan. To forgive him, but still make sure he learns his lesson.

Finale - They go on with their plan. But he still won't budge! He tries leaving with his son and G2, but G2 stays. And keeps her son too. He leaves, losing all his sons and his girlfriends; defeated and moneyless. Now the girlfriends are all together and the bully and the hero's son are friends. They all have new, stronger lives and the hero realizes what it takes to be a mother, even in hard, heartbreaking times. The six of them (girlfriends and sons) spend every weekend together; a new "family".

I know after the midpoint it strayed from your original outline, but I think something like this would give you more to write about. But always go with your heart. I hope this helped!
And I hope you get more constructive feedback.

_________________
I am full of ideas.
I just don't know what they are yet.

Felicia · Puma Joined: 19 Aug 2009 Posts: 92

Cam_O,

thank you for fantastic feedback!
You are right, I lost track after the midpoint, but now I can easily see the whole story.

Catalyst: Yep - much better and more visual idea for the heroine to get the information. Have to be careful, though, to make it believable. Maybe I find a variation of some sort.

Break Into Two: As you say, of course it's nothing funny about trying to commit suicide - what I meant was just the guy's reaction when realizing his lies are revealed, and I thought of a scene where he is paralysed and calls his mom in a state of shock... then perhaps grasps for a razor, shivering... and stumbles, gets something in his head or whatever... or maybe tries to throw himself from the balcony but is stuck on the one of the neighbour below, in a really embarrassing way...

Well, you get it. Anyway, it's not going to be there at all because it has nothing to do with the heroine's arc. So just forget it.

I think the Break Into Two is just that she arranges a meeting with G2 and G3, and the three of them see eath other for the first time. And I'm defintely going to make them very different, I will try to make them comic opposites (beacause I see this as a warm drama-comedy).

Everything else that you wrote, I think was great! Lots of inspiration there.
So now I have two stories to focus on (this one and the FT about the man who is changed into a lesbain).

Time to start working!
Thanks again.

Jack Skellington · Leopard Joined: 07 Aug 2009 Posts: 26

This all sounds very similar to the teen comedy film John Tucker Must Die. I suggest you watch the movie to better determine what makes your own story unique. Remember: "The same thing, only different!"

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E.T. phone home!

Felicia · Puma Joined: 19 Aug 2009 Posts: 92

Okey, I haven't seen that one. I sure will.

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